Does it sound like a strange topic to you? It does somewhat sound strange to me, but it is true however before I write on remember the glass is always, always, always half-full even if it sometimes does not seem that way. Am I getting to cryptic now?! Life is good...
Now on to my post...sometimes I feel just so terribly guilty about passing on this bad gene to my babies. I remember back when Mia Rose was born we were convinced that she does not have CG. Alena weighed only a little over 6 lbs. Mia Rose was well over 8-1/2 lbs.. Hey, probably babies with CG are smaller we thought. My OB put signs, labels all over Mia Rosies crib "ISOMIL ONLY" in huge, red letters. I was laughing inside "oh, yes let's just do this but I know she does not have CG...". They rushed the cord blood to California for testing, rushed everything and yes I there was no question in my head. We went home and then less than a week later my OBs office called. We were told that Mia Rose our little baby also had CG. I broke down, I cried, I was devastated...what had I done? I gave this bad gene also to my other baby. It was all my fault. - I was in shock, not about the diagnosis but about my reaction. I knew that everything would be OK, we know how to deal with this, but I was terrified. Terrified that my beautiful little baby also may develop E.Coli and become septic. Thankfully our pediatrician ran blood tests...
But why was I so devastated, feeling guilty? - My OB told me that its OK to be grieving because we all want for our kids to have no medical problems at all. Isn't that the truth? Having girls with CG is a little bit more challenging, I know there are plenty of women having babies w/CG but knowing that there more likely than not will be a problem makes it hard for me. That is when I feel guilty, guilty, guilty that it is my fault for passing this defective gene on...
Thank you for reading this. I feel so much better now that I have written this of my chest. Thank you...and yes, yes, yes I will say it again the glass is always half-full.
I am calling it a night and hopefully will be back more cheerful later on this week. And yes, I have not forgotten about pictures about the fantastic Birthday cake my baby had on Sunday.
